Two Men and a Baby
by SpazKitty
Summary: Iruka does a mission with a baby, Kakashi goes cause he's bored, with enimies afoot our dolphin loses some clothes, making him very attractive to our scarecrow. What will happen after the mission is complete and are alone? kakairu Warning Yaoi Language


Two Men and a Baby

**Kitty**: My pen names long so you can call me Kitty! Maybe that's what I should change it to… oh well Ill think about it later. YAY first fic! Mostly a reader but I really wanted to give writing a try! YAY for me! Funny thing is I started writing this fic down in a notebook IN CHURCH! HA HA!

**Kakashi**: Well, well, you're a bad girl aren't you, writing gay porn in a house of God. I

like you! (drapes arms around Kitty's shoulders)

**Kitty**: O/////O Ka-Kakashi-sama?!

**Iruka**: Hey get off her! (grabs Kakashi's ear and drags him away)

**Kakashi**: OW! OW! OW! OOOOOW! But Iruka-chaaaaan!

**Kitty**: (cough) I would like to say this is a yaoi, meaning GAY SEX! YAY SMUT!! (giggles)… (regains composure) Yeah, so if you have something against homosexuality or don't want to be scared for life with the description of two guys banging each other DON'T READ THIS!!! This is for the drooling fangirls of the world (or if you're a gay guy). Go easy on me please, I'm a newbie. Also I do not own any part of "Naruto", those characters, and the Konoha village, belong to Madashi Kishimoto.

**Kakashi**: Ill let you own me any time! OUCH!! Iruka-chan why'd you hit me?!

**Iruka**: I don't need to explain myself to you! Lets just get this story started with.

**Kakashi**: (sigh) alright, you no fun

**Kitty**: --;

(_Italic_) thoughts/ reading in head

Day 1

Kakashi was bored out of his mind! Naruto, Sakura, and Sauske, were all doing something or other and didn't need him any more. Naruto training under Jariya, Sakura training under the 5th Hokage, and Sauske… well lets not get into that! So he went to the mission's office. He wasn't looking for something challenging of life risking, just something to get him out of the village; some new scenery to take his mind off things. "_a C-rank mission should be good_" Also, he wanted to see Iruka. He had become accustomed to see Iruka n a regular basic, cause he would ask about Naruto. But not being with Naruto, meant no Iruka, and he kind of missed seeing the friendly Chunin.

"Yo!"

"Oh, hello Kakashi-sensei, it's been awhile. You fairing well?"

"Yeah, just really bored"

"Alright then, I understand, so you want a B or A mission?"

"C"

Iruka got a surprised, and confused look on his face.

"'C'? Why?"

"I just want to get out of the village, I don't feel like actually working."

This comment irritated Iruka a bit.

"_You don't see a mission as work?!_ (he thought but kept it to himself) Well! Sorry to disappoint you, but there is only one C-mission, and I'm taking it."

"Come on Iruka just let me do it."

THIS comment surprised Iruka, because he was hearing the great Copy-nin wine

"Sorry, your not suitable for this mission, just take a B."

"NOT SUITABLE!? How am I not suitable?"

"Kakashi-sensei, have you ever held a baby?"

"I am… wait, what?"

"This mission is an escort service. It is to deliver a new born baby safely to a small village to its father."

"…Just the baby? What about it's mother?"

"She died in childbirth"

Kakashi was silent, feeling guilty about his childness and selfishness.

"So, as you can see, you're not suitable for this mission. Because I'm pretty sure you don't know how to take proper care of a baby. I've had child experience, so I've taken the mission upon myself."

"You're doing it alone?"

"Yes, this was almost a B-mission, but I think I can handle myself. Anyway the Hokage wants me to hone my skills a little cause I haven't had a mission in a long time."

"How is it almost a B-mission?"

"Well, aren't you full of questions. The baby's father is the head of the entire village, and there are some other villages that hold a grudge towards this village, so they might higher someone to kidnap the baby so they can then control the father. Hopefully they won't higher ninja. Pulse its pretty far away, but not out of the country."

"'_hopefully?'… _How about I go with you? You take care of the kid, and I take care of any threats."

Iruka looked blankly at Kakashi

"… you just want out of the village."

"Now Iruka-sensei, I care about this mission. You make me sound so inconsiderate." (acting innocent)

"(sigh) Well… I guess you could come along, to be on the safe side; seeing as you want to go so badly."

"Thanks! So when does the mission begin?"

"As soon as I get off. I've already prepared what I needed during my break so you get what you need and meet me back here in 2 hours. If your late, I'm leaving without you, use your tracking skills to find me."

"Understood."

And so Kakashi went back to his place, packed, and in the extra time read his Icha Icha Paradise. As Iruka predicted he was an hour late, Kakashi expected the overly polite Chunin to be waiting for him, very upset of course.

But to the Jounin's surprise, he found a note with his name on it.

_Kakashi-sensei,_

_I had a feeling you would be late, if you are reading this I am already on my way _

_to the Konoha hospital, I refuse to be late and want the baby to be home as soon _

_as possible. Try to catch up._

_Iruka_

"Well aren't we the smart one, he's taking this really seriously. Fine Iruka, I'll catch you."

And he was off, Kakashi went to the hospital

"_He's waiting for me, and he's going to be all pouty while holding a baby. (laughing to himself) He's going to look so cute!"_

But to Kakashi's disappointment, no Iruka. He searched the hospital for his chakra, Iruka was there but not any more. So he asked a nurse to gather information.

"Excuse me nurse um… (squinting to read the nametag) Kitty?"

"Oh, yes!" (A.N. HAHA innuendo!)

"Iruka-sensei was here to pick up a baby correct? Would you know where he went?"

"Right, that's right, and your Kakashi-san, that means I am to give you this!"

(perky little nurse hands letter to Kakashi)

Kakashi reads:

_Kakashi-sensei_

_You really need to speed it up and catch me. I even took my time coming here, guess you're too slow. I'm headed towards the main gate; I will wait half an hour for you as soon as I get there. If you are late again I will start this mission without you, and you'll have to find me on your own._

_Iruka_

"'_guess your too slow?' rather bold of you to say something like that Iruka-sensei, I'll get you back for that._ Thank you nurse Kitty, how long ago did he leave here?"

"um… about 50 min. ago."

"Thank you" (bows and walks away) "_Alright, it takes half an hour to get to the main gate from here, he'll walk with the baby, so he's been there waiting for 20 min. already, giving me 10 min. to get there. Better hurry."_

And so he was off again to Iruka, wanting to make him eat his words.

Iruka, was sitting and waiting with a baby in his arms. The baby was a girl, and she had no name so Iruka called her Yoshino, she was already cleaned, changed, fed, and was falling asleep. Playing with her was all Iruka could do to kill the time while waiting. And now he couldn't, so he was getting bored. With less than five min. till his intended departure time he got everything repacked and stood waiting to walk away from the village. Armed with the necessities of a ninja, a diaper bag (and no it wasn't all cute with teddy bears and puffy clouds, it was more military like to be more discrete) and one of those baby-back-pack things so his hand were free and the baby was conferrable against his chest. (A.N. sorry I can't remember what they're called; hopefully you know what I'm describing)

"Kakashi will probable laugh at me looking like this. (sigh)"

He checked on Yoshino's blanket to make sure she was keeping warm, and then when everything was in order he counted down.

"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, fi"

"HEY! IRUKA-SE mphf"

Iruka had quickly covered Kakashi's mouth

(whispering) "KAKASHI!!! Be quiet, the baby just went to SLEEP!" ( releasing Kakashi)

"Sorry, so shall we go?"

"That's what I've been WAITING for!"

"But I'm here on time!"

"Yes, but only after being late twice."

"Fine… so does the kid have a name?"

"Not officially, I'm just calling her Yoshino."

"'Respectful and Good' I expected nothing less coming from you. (scanning Iruka) You look like you would make a good mother."

-//////- "Come on, were going"

"Yes mommy!"

Iruka then gave Kakashi a look that screamed "SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!!" Kakashi just smiled and walked by Iruka's side.

The entire trip, from Konoha to the village and back, was estimated to be a little more than a week, taking into account the infant. Things were quiet for the first few hours, catching up on each other's lives, exchanging stories; then the baby woke up. She was fine at first; she had grown very fond of Iruka. But as soon as she saw Kakashi she began to cry.

"Oh no, I think you scared her. (consoling Yoshino) um… Kakahsi, I think you should um… check out the area for enemies." (trying to say "go away" nicely)

"But I didn't do anything, how's it my fault the kid's scared!"

"Sorry but, I can't change her mind she doesn't seem to like you." (Yoshino still crying loudly)

Kakashi had a mad, yet hurt, look on his face. He turned away from the two, Iruka looked at him curiously.

"Kakashi?"

When Kakashi turned around, the face he had on turned Iruka pale, and his mouth dropped. His usual mask was still on, but… his eye was all googoolly like, a plastic tongue stuck to where his mouth supposedly is, and two straws were sticking out of his nostrils.

(A.N. I'll put a linky on my page so you can see the original doodle for what Kakashi looks like! X3)

Iruka's thoughts:

#1. Where did he get that tongue from?

#2. Why did he have straws?

#3. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

What was going on in Kakashi's head? Thought Iruka, but after the moment of shock desipated, and what Kakashi looked like sunk in…

"pfft**"**

He tried his best to hold in his laughter, but to no avail. He laughed so hard that Yoshino was shaking like a rattle; because Iruka was holding her was the only reason he didn't fall to the ground and bend over from laughing so hard. That's when he realized Kakahsi's motive;

Yoshino was laughing too.

He went down to a giggle and smiled at Kakashi. The items on his face then dropped to the ground, (and eye going back to normal) and he returned the smile.

"Looks like she likes me now."

"A primitive yet affective method HA HA, things should be a lot quieter from now on."

"Good to hear"

With that they continued to walk, every thing was quiet again. Iruka was busy giving Yoshino attention; Kakashi, naturally, got bored, and in turn pulled out the legendary Icha Icha Paradice. With it's bright orange cover Iruka saw it immediately, continuing to walk he turned away appearing to protect Yoshino from the sight of the book with his body.

"KAKASHI!!! PUT THAT AWAY!!!"

"What, I'm bored, we're completely safe right now, and you're a teacher, I would think you would support reading."

"Not THAT kind of material!"

"It's a hard cover, and has paper, what other material would a book be made out of."

--; "_Oh God, I give up!"_

"but seriously, the kid wont remember what book I'm reading, hell it can't even READ!"

"Will you please stop referring to Yoshino as an object?"

"fine" (continues to read)

And so they stopped talking to each other.

Iruka: preoccupied with Yoshino.

Kakashi: preoccupied with reading.

It became dark, so far the first day went smoothly (referring to no enemies) Yoshino was put to bed in a pup tent, Iruka would sleep with her in the tent while Kakashi kept watch outside. Not being too late, Iruka came out of the tent and sat by the fire next to Kakashi.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Go ahead…can I ask you something then?"

"what?"

"Why did you take this mission, why not let a konoichi take Yoshi-chan?"

"I just… feel that I can relate to her… I don't know. But I wanted to make sure that she gets to the only family she has left."

"How do you relate?"

"I lost my mother… but I lost my father too. She's never seen her mother and never will, but she still had her father, still has a chance to live a happy life… with a family.

Iruka suddenly had a look of nostalgia on his face, a longing to see his parents again. Kakashi held in the urge to hold the Chunin in his arms. For some reason whenever he saw Iruka sad, it pulled some strings in his heart, he didn't know why and decided to ignore the feeling. As far as he knew he wasn't homosexual, but he admits that he feels a little physical attraction to Iruka, and he loved it when the dolphin turned red, either from frustration or embarrassment. He decided to comfort Iruka with a simple hand on the shoulder with a light squeeze. Iruka smiled at Kakashi in thanks.

"why don't you go to bed now, that br… Yoshino is going to wake up in the middle of the night, and you need your sleep."

Iruka sighed, knowing Kakashi was right and went back to the tent to get as much sleep as he could before being woken up with crying.

Kakashi stayed by the fire and looked up to the stars.

He thought _"lets see if tomorrow will be more interesting"_

Kakashi then closed his eyes, half asleep with his guard up, in case of enemies. Having his version of sleep on a mission, he was unknowing that tomorrow will be VERY interesting.

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**Kitty**: YAY first chapter! I'm expecting to make 7 chapters all together (at least) This was originally called "Strip Mission" but the titles have to be rated G so I changed it for here; I don't want to get kicked off my first time. I had a hard time figuring out the wording for the rap-up, I suck at conclusions --;

**Iruka**: It wasn't that bad (consoles Kitty) Hey cheer up, I mean it IS your birthday!

**Kitty**: (blinks)…(thinks) … HOLY SHIT IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! I'M 17 NOW! I CAN SEE R RATED MOVIES ON MY OWN NOW!!! YAAAAY!!!!!!

(dances)

(confetti falls from the sky, balloons rise to float away, nose makers, Naruto music blasting through the stereos)

**Kakashi**: … where the hell did this come from? You don't have a JOB, you can't afford this!

**Kitty**: (still dancing and singing)

**Iruka**: (stops Kakashi from saying any more) let her have her fantasy. This is HER writing and HER day.

Kakashi and Iruka watch on as I dance and make an idiot of myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Also THANK YOU Pfeekin for the complement! It made me so happy that you liked my writing! If I write in a different style, you are DEFFENITLY my beta! Hope to see you soon!


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